Ah, the ups and downs of life. One minute, you're happy: you got all A's this semester, your boyfriend surprised you with flowers, your siblings have become a lot closer with you. The next, things go downhill: you found out you failed an important class, your boyfriend broke up with you, and your siblings just opened fire on you, creating WWIII.
Every person on this beautiful planet has gone through ups and downs. And as friends, we are there for each other--to help soften the blow or to jump up and down, squealing with joy. Whatever one friend needs, the other is there to help and support. It's what we do!
But, what do you do when your friend comes to you in tears, venting all of the pent-up anger and hurt that's been building inside of her, yet you need to do the same? How do you tell her you need that shoulder to cry on as well? The answer is simple: First come, first serve. JUST KIDDING.
Not only have I had this problem in my own personal life, I've also seen other people hold back from sharing their problems with friends because they don't want to infringe on the friend's moment. Quite often, people opt out of saying anything about their own problems. We tend to say to ourselves, "Their problem is bigger. Mine's nothing, compared to that. I can't be selfish--I need to be there for my friend." And oh, how true you are in that last sentiment! Except for one thing: your friend needs [and wants] to be there for you, too.
Sometimes it can be easy for us to fall into competition with other human beings, too. It's what we do. But not everything is a competition--and you certainly don't have to compete with you friends in the category of "whose life sucks more." Don't be resigned to thinking, "Oh, well, her life is much worse than mine...she wins. I can't talk about my problems right now." Believe it or not, even in their hard moments of life, your friend does want to be there for you. She wants to laugh with you and cry with you, just like you do with her.
And at the end of the day, your friendship will be stronger--forged by those shared tears. You'll be strengthened in the encouragement you can mutually give each other. Strong bonds are created between people who take the time and effort to not only laugh with each other in good times, but also cry together in the sad times.
The best thing to keep in mind, in any situation with a friend, is something that is incredibly important to our Father in heaven. Love. It's the most important commandment, and it's how we've been instructed to live our lives. Loving your friend is the best thing you can do for her, and it's the best way to help her through her problems. Lord willing, she'll be doing the same for you. She wants to love you like you love her, so let her.
Every person on this beautiful planet has gone through ups and downs. And as friends, we are there for each other--to help soften the blow or to jump up and down, squealing with joy. Whatever one friend needs, the other is there to help and support. It's what we do!
But, what do you do when your friend comes to you in tears, venting all of the pent-up anger and hurt that's been building inside of her, yet you need to do the same? How do you tell her you need that shoulder to cry on as well? The answer is simple: First come, first serve. JUST KIDDING.
Not only have I had this problem in my own personal life, I've also seen other people hold back from sharing their problems with friends because they don't want to infringe on the friend's moment. Quite often, people opt out of saying anything about their own problems. We tend to say to ourselves, "Their problem is bigger. Mine's nothing, compared to that. I can't be selfish--I need to be there for my friend." And oh, how true you are in that last sentiment! Except for one thing: your friend needs [and wants] to be there for you, too.
Sometimes it can be easy for us to fall into competition with other human beings, too. It's what we do. But not everything is a competition--and you certainly don't have to compete with you friends in the category of "whose life sucks more." Don't be resigned to thinking, "Oh, well, her life is much worse than mine...she wins. I can't talk about my problems right now." Believe it or not, even in their hard moments of life, your friend does want to be there for you. She wants to laugh with you and cry with you, just like you do with her.
"Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." ~Romans 12:15We have the ability to be sad alongside our friends who are going through grief. Sometimes this means both of you sitting on the couch, each having a time to vent, and then sharing tissues and fighting over who gets the last Dove chocolate.
And at the end of the day, your friendship will be stronger--forged by those shared tears. You'll be strengthened in the encouragement you can mutually give each other. Strong bonds are created between people who take the time and effort to not only laugh with each other in good times, but also cry together in the sad times.
The best thing to keep in mind, in any situation with a friend, is something that is incredibly important to our Father in heaven. Love. It's the most important commandment, and it's how we've been instructed to live our lives. Loving your friend is the best thing you can do for her, and it's the best way to help her through her problems. Lord willing, she'll be doing the same for you. She wants to love you like you love her, so let her.
"A friend loves at all times." ~Proverbs 17:17
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