I posted this story on Facebook a long time ago, but thought it might be a good idea to send this out to some of you who I don't know personally... Enjoy!
One of my fondest memories takes place on a very special Friday a few years ago. Some like to call this day "The Day of Extreme Shopping," others might title it, "Capitalism at its Finest," and yet, to most Americans this day is known as Black Friday.
It was around 6 am when I was sitting on a bench at the mall, a good distance outside a department store where my mom and her friend were looking for the latest thing-a-ma-bob. I was so tired after a full night of shopping and I wasn't necessarily looking "my best" (whatever that means). I was in serious do-or-die-shopping-mode that night, which meant I didn't have time to worry about makeup getting smudged, hair getting in my way, or unnecessary accessories clanking around... in other words, as said by the famed artist, Drake, "Sweat pants, hair tied, Chillin' wit no makeup on."
I didn't really care, and considering my particularly hangry mood, it was nice that the part of the mall near my bench was pretty deserted. I was just about to fall asleep on that bench when I noticed two young men walking past me. However, it wasn't their walking that got my attention, rather, it was the fact that one of the guys stopped in his tracks and stared right at me, while the other kept on his way.
"Oh come on. Not now, let's go," the fast-paced man said to the deer in the head lights.
"Nah nah, hold on," The frozen man replied with a laughing smile across his face.
"Oh no," I thought. "I do not want to deal with this right now. Can't he tell that I am tired beyond belief? I would think that anyone within a 500 ft. radius would be able to tell considering the insanity that is the bags under my eyes. Doesn't anything about my body language cry, LEAVE ME ALONE, I'D RATHER NOT DEAL WITH YOU RIGHT NOW?!?!?!??"
As I scrambled my thoughts, trying to think of a good way to kindly & firmly reject this guy, he walked closer, and closer, and then he did the unthinkable-- He sat down on the bench, right next to me!
"WHAT KIND OF WORLD IS THIS?" I thought. As I smiled at him and tried my hardest to remember the number for the rejection hotline, he said something I never expected, and something I'll never forget.
The man said, "You are beautiful. Really, you are beautiful, and no matter what anyone says, don't ever forget that, okay?"
Blank. That's what my mind was... blank.
I had no idea what to say to this stranger. Eventually, I croaked out a, "Thank... you,"
But he was already starting to leave as I was thanking him. And that was all.
Even more quickly than he came, he left, and I never saw him again. I felt like I should have done more, I felt like I should have chased him down, but then what would I do? Just say 'thank you' again? I didn't know. I contemplated the event for the rest of the day simply wondering, "What compelled him to do that?"
Whether it was the look in his eyes or the tone in his voice, I couldn't tell you, but I knew that he was being completely genuine-- more genuine than I'd ever seen anyone be. In this moment, I knew that he wasn't trying to get anything from me or use this as a moment to dance around some underlying intentions. He simply noticed something, and wanted to make sure I understood what he was seeing.
I don't remember this moment all the time. But every once in a while, it pops into my brain and I smile at the recollection. That man will probably never know the affect that he had on my life, and perhaps I never will either, but I can say that the one simple comment I received from a stranger that day, really did change my life (even if it was years later that I realized it) and here is why:
I don't think that words alone can solve many of the world's problems, but I do think that words alone have caused many of the world's problems. I think many problems are caused by the fact that too many people don't say exactly what's on their mind, and too many people say exactly what's on their mind too often.
I don't know about you, but I think a lot of positive thoughts about people that I believe I should express more often. In fact, on a daily basis I might recognize one person's beautiful eyes, another person's great work ethic, and many people who are thoughtful, interesting, pleasant to be around, and kind. In that same day, I might not mention any of those things to any one of those people.
That's sad.
In fact, it's a tragedy that many people aren't willing (or don't think) to point outEspecially when at home, on the street, in friend groups, and at school people are hearing that they're ugly, unworthy, no-good, and useless.
points of others' beauty on a daily basis. We let it come from songs and
media that emphasize the importance of "being yourself," letting, "your
true colors shine," and showing those, "freckles, dimples, true eye
colors, etc." and while these are all good things, the messages we hear
in the media can only take us so far.
Not to mention, there are the too many of us that are these very people in our homes, our schools, with our friends and on the street reinforcing each others' failures and flaws (in our minds & out-loud). It's not even that our negativity isn't true, because sometimes negative statements are true, but more often than not, it's just not necessary to point out the negativity.
Most people don't need to be reminded of their failures-- they're keenly aware of them, but the same people might not ever realize they've even had any successes. Vincent Van Gogh only sold one painting in his lifetime, and then committed suicide. I wonder what would have happened if someone told him he was a great artist... Or even if they simply mentioned that they loved his passion for art, regardless of their thoughts on the piece's quality.
All this to say, thank you, random man, for saying something really nice to me when my hope for humanity was at a low point. From that moment, I've realized that one of life's greatest adventures is the ability to make someone's day every day. From that simple experience, I've learned that the world would be a better place if everyone had the courage to approach other people and give them genuine and specific compliments.
Live Loved,
Emma
One of my fondest memories takes place on a very special Friday a few years ago. Some like to call this day "The Day of Extreme Shopping," others might title it, "Capitalism at its Finest," and yet, to most Americans this day is known as Black Friday.
It was around 6 am when I was sitting on a bench at the mall, a good distance outside a department store where my mom and her friend were looking for the latest thing-a-ma-bob. I was so tired after a full night of shopping and I wasn't necessarily looking "my best" (whatever that means). I was in serious do-or-die-shopping-mode that night, which meant I didn't have time to worry about makeup getting smudged, hair getting in my way, or unnecessary accessories clanking around... in other words, as said by the famed artist, Drake, "Sweat pants, hair tied, Chillin' wit no makeup on."
I didn't really care, and considering my particularly hangry mood, it was nice that the part of the mall near my bench was pretty deserted. I was just about to fall asleep on that bench when I noticed two young men walking past me. However, it wasn't their walking that got my attention, rather, it was the fact that one of the guys stopped in his tracks and stared right at me, while the other kept on his way.
"Oh come on. Not now, let's go," the fast-paced man said to the deer in the head lights.
"Nah nah, hold on," The frozen man replied with a laughing smile across his face.
"Oh no," I thought. "I do not want to deal with this right now. Can't he tell that I am tired beyond belief? I would think that anyone within a 500 ft. radius would be able to tell considering the insanity that is the bags under my eyes. Doesn't anything about my body language cry, LEAVE ME ALONE, I'D RATHER NOT DEAL WITH YOU RIGHT NOW?!?!?!??"
As I scrambled my thoughts, trying to think of a good way to kindly & firmly reject this guy, he walked closer, and closer, and then he did the unthinkable-- He sat down on the bench, right next to me!
"WHAT KIND OF WORLD IS THIS?" I thought. As I smiled at him and tried my hardest to remember the number for the rejection hotline, he said something I never expected, and something I'll never forget.
The man said, "You are beautiful. Really, you are beautiful, and no matter what anyone says, don't ever forget that, okay?"
Blank. That's what my mind was... blank.
I had no idea what to say to this stranger. Eventually, I croaked out a, "Thank... you,"
But he was already starting to leave as I was thanking him. And that was all.
Even more quickly than he came, he left, and I never saw him again. I felt like I should have done more, I felt like I should have chased him down, but then what would I do? Just say 'thank you' again? I didn't know. I contemplated the event for the rest of the day simply wondering, "What compelled him to do that?"
Whether it was the look in his eyes or the tone in his voice, I couldn't tell you, but I knew that he was being completely genuine-- more genuine than I'd ever seen anyone be. In this moment, I knew that he wasn't trying to get anything from me or use this as a moment to dance around some underlying intentions. He simply noticed something, and wanted to make sure I understood what he was seeing.
 |
| Photo by Emma Bailey |
I don't remember this moment all the time. But every once in a while, it pops into my brain and I smile at the recollection. That man will probably never know the affect that he had on my life, and perhaps I never will either, but I can say that the one simple comment I received from a stranger that day, really did change my life (even if it was years later that I realized it) and here is why:
I don't think that words alone can solve many of the world's problems, but I do think that words alone have caused many of the world's problems. I think many problems are caused by the fact that too many people don't say exactly what's on their mind, and too many people say exactly what's on their mind too often.
I don't know about you, but I think a lot of positive thoughts about people that I believe I should express more often. In fact, on a daily basis I might recognize one person's beautiful eyes, another person's great work ethic, and many people who are thoughtful, interesting, pleasant to be around, and kind. In that same day, I might not mention any of those things to any one of those people.
That's sad.
In fact, it's a tragedy that many people aren't willing (or don't think) to point outEspecially when at home, on the street, in friend groups, and at school people are hearing that they're ugly, unworthy, no-good, and useless.
 |
| Photo by Emma Bailey; Model, Kaylin Rutkowski |
Not to mention, there are the too many of us that are these very people in our homes, our schools, with our friends and on the street reinforcing each others' failures and flaws (in our minds & out-loud). It's not even that our negativity isn't true, because sometimes negative statements are true, but more often than not, it's just not necessary to point out the negativity.
Most people don't need to be reminded of their failures-- they're keenly aware of them, but the same people might not ever realize they've even had any successes. Vincent Van Gogh only sold one painting in his lifetime, and then committed suicide. I wonder what would have happened if someone told him he was a great artist... Or even if they simply mentioned that they loved his passion for art, regardless of their thoughts on the piece's quality.
All this to say, thank you, random man, for saying something really nice to me when my hope for humanity was at a low point. From that moment, I've realized that one of life's greatest adventures is the ability to make someone's day every day. From that simple experience, I've learned that the world would be a better place if everyone had the courage to approach other people and give them genuine and specific compliments.
Live Loved,
Emma
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