Do I even have a testimony?

"Do I even have a testimony?"

I often asked myself that question in high school, especially in 9th and 10th grade.  Being an avid churchgoer, having gone through two years of a student leadership program, and always being involved in small groups, I heard the testimonies of many of our youth group's leaders.  Most of them followed the same theme.

"I used to do drugs, but God saved me from that."  "I struggled with depression and wanted to end my life, then God intervened in my life and I radically changed."  "I don't drink alcohol any more, because God saved me."  Always the same type of stories--people who had done horribly bad things, and God stepped into their lives at some point.  They realized how off track they were, how much they needed a savior, and gave their lives to God.  Those stories are totally awesome; praise the Lord for His faithfulness to save us from such things! 

Photo by Laurel Burlew

I enjoyed listening to testimonies because they showed me how God is so much greater than anything in this world.  At the same time, I didn't like listening to them because I felt almost left out (silly, isn't it?).  Whenever I heard the word "testimony," I thought of those awesome stories and I felt inadequate to share mine due to the lack of excitement in my life. 

A few times during high school, I was asked to share my testimony.  Sometimes it was in small groups, sometimes for younger kids.  I never felt equipped for it.  I didn't even know if I had a testimony.   My life seemed so boring.  I've been going to church since I was born; I learned all the books of the Bible as children's songs; my church attendance has always been near perfect.  I had never done anything too terribly "bad".  In my mind, you could only have a testimony if you had a very terrible life before you came to Christ.

So each time, I dug up the most horrible things I had ever done or thought and tried to express the same type of story I had heard a thousand times.  The things I talked about weren't untrue, but they weren't the root of my true testimony.  Yes, I've been through struggles.  I've had low points.  That is completely true.  But that's not necessarily my personal testimony.

I've talked to a number of kids in the church who feel the same way I did.  The word "testimony" is intimidating to them, as it was to me, because we've never done any of those super "bad" things some others have.  A lot of kids, teens, and even adults shy away from telling their testimonies if they feel like nothing completely horrible has happened to them.

I realized something of great importance during my freshman year in college: I actually do have a testimony.  It's just as valid, and awesome, as the testimony of any other person.  Really, the definition of the word is this: an open declaration.  Proof.  Evidence of a fact.  Profession.  Your testimony is the evidence in your personal life that Jesus is your Lord and Savior.

Photo by Laurel Burlew

My testimony is that I came to Christ at a young age.  I've never been drunk, never smoked, never tried drugs.  Jesus saved me from those things before I even did them.  And when I make a mistake or sin in other ways--believe me, I do it all the time--He forgives me.  God sent His only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross and forgive us of our sins when we repent and turn to Him.  That includes me.  He saved me from what I deserve and is preparing me for something better than I can imagine. 

Whether we've done the worst things you can think of or have never really done anything super "bad," Jesus saved us all the same.  We all sin--that means we literally have zero chance of getting into heaven on our own.  Without Christ, we're doomed for eternity.  When we choose to live for Christ and put away the things of the world, that is our testimony.  Everyone has one, and the fact that they're all different is what makes them so powerful. 

You never know who may need to hear your story; it may be infinitely more important than you think.