A Sad Poem

      It's been forever since we've posted anything. Unfortunately, on my part, I know that it's because perfectionism has taken it's toll on me (in a bad way) lately and I haven't felt like I've had time to devote myself to anything "really good," so instead I've just tucked away my ideas and not written anything. Ironically, that literally defeats the purpose of why we created this blog, so here's a poem I just wrote right now because to be honest, my heart is feeling downcast and a little on the sad side right now. I'm bummed about various situations in life and wanting to work through them, while simultaenously having to work on life's physical tasks (4 hour dance rehearsal starts in 45 minutes). I couldn't let it all sit inside of me completely so I just dashed this (dashed? I don't think that's a real phrase, but I'll make it a thing) together real quick and decided that I should post it for the sake of keeping our mission alive and forcing myself to get over my perfectionist issues. 

     Granted, I know that hardly anyone will ever read this unless I share it on Facebook, and even then, my poetry posts don't tend to be as well recieved... but for you few and proud readers out there-- Hi. My name is Emma and I am sad. If you are sad too, know that you're not alone and that it's okay to just be sad sometimes :)

Have you ever felt so alone?

Like you have a great family,

But still no home…

Have you ever felt so confused?

Like what was once just okay,

Now, makes you feel… abused?

Have you ever felt so ashamed?

Like you know that you’re forgiven,

But you’ll never be the same…

Have you ever felt so numb?

Like you go 6 hours full of life,

and then in seconds, you have none.

Do you ever feel like me?

Like no matter what you do,

You’re just never meant to be?

Do you ever feel kind of lost?

Like no matter where you go,

It doesn’t matter. What’s the cost?

It’s not that I’m not loved…

Some people know my name…

I have everything in Christ…

But today it feels like it’s all in vain…

And I know that it’s not true, and you would try to change my mind

And tell me that it will all be okay in the end even though I’m feeling shocked inside

And I know that you’d mean well and I know that you’d be right,

But it wouldn’t mean that much to me because after every day, follows a night

And the cycle goes on and on and on until the cycle has no end

And here I am all by myself, hanging out with Jesus, my best friend

And I love him, yes I do. For he has allowed this pain in my heart.

And even before I was born, he knew I’d be writing these words from the start.

So who am I kidding? No matter what I feel,

I guess it always comes back to the fact that the Creator who loves me is incredibly real.

And he is good and he is great and he is mighty,

His power will save me

And he is big and he is strong

And he will help me when the days are long

And when my friends find themselves a replacement,

And my heart gets stomped on the ground,

And when I get [somewhat] stitched back together but I’m still not okay, it’s okay ‘cause he’s found,

That I am beautiful even though I am ugly and I am wonderful even though I am bad,

And I am whole even though I am broken and I am His even when I am sad.

“The LORD is my light and my salvation-- whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall I be afraid?”

Psalm 27:1


Live, Learn, Love, Leave a Legacy, & Stay Creative
Emma