We are the body

So, I'm sitting here at Starbucks on a sunny Monday (that happens to be Memorial Day), writing and sipping my chai latte.  I'm in the middle of writing a scene in a book I'm working on, and it's taking up about 90% of my concentration.  Another 5% is going to my good friend, whom I'm texting about a graduation ceremony, and the remaining 5% goes to the music that's playing.
Suddenly, a girl around my age comes up to me, smiling, and says, "Hi!  Excuse me, I wanted to know if you have a phone I could borrow to look up directions?"
Usually when people ask to use my phone or something, my inclination is to say no.  But she seemed to actually be in need of it, so I replied, "Sure!"
She sits down on a chair next to me, and says, "Thank you so much! For some reason, I can't get internet on my computer right now."
I pull out my phone and we enter in the location, and look at the directions.  Before I can tell her the first step on the directions, she says, "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to read your journal or anything, but I noticed the word 'God' in there.  Do you love Jesus?"
I look back at her, and reply, "Yes!  He's awesome."
Now we're both smiling, and out of nowhere a conversation strikes up.  For the next 5 or 10 minutes, we talk about which churches we go to, how God's timing works in mysterious ways that we don't understand, and how it's good to rely on Him through the confusing times.  Then she writes down the directions, and we talk a little bit more.  She asks what I'm writing, and I tell her.  I find out that she wrote a book, as well.  She tells me she went through a rough patch in her life and wrote the book, and what I'm thinking is, I hope God uses that book she wrote! That could be such a great ministry!

There are 4 other people on their iphones/ipads/computers, sitting in this Starbucks.  She could've asked them for help; but she chose to ask me.  I think it's awesome that she had the courage to ask a complete stranger for help, knowing how many unhelpful people there are in the world.
This girl goes to a different church than me, and I have no clue who she is, but we have one thing in common that I find to be totally awesome-- we both love and are following Jesus!  I love the randomness of what just happened, because it was really cool to meet a fellow believer and to help her out in some small way.  She helped me, too, just by being so kind and forthcoming about her faith.  (Hope in humanity restored!)

God put her on my heart to pray for her.  I don't know her last name, where she was going today or why, what's going on in her life, or any other details, but I know God is a part of her life and I praise Him for that!  We all constantly have ups and downs in life, and wherever we're at, we can always use prayer.  So I'm going to be praying for her, because God listens and I don't think I had this chance encounter with her for no reason.
And that just reminds me how awesome it is to be able to pray for people, especially those who are the body of Christ!  It's become one of my favorite things to do this past year.  If anyone reading this ever wants/needs prayer, no matter what for, I hope you'll share with me!  The power of prayer is stronger than we even know.

I hope y'all have a blessed Memorial Day, and remember the price others have had to pay for our country's freedom.  (Like the freedom to express how much we love Jesus with people!)  But even more importantly, remember the price that Jesus Christ paid on the cross for our eternal freedom!

~Laurel

In three seconds

One.  I'm watching my sister, who is Princess Beauty for the afternoon, read stories to a three- and five-year-old.  They're enthralled with her; we've been at the house for nearly 45 minutes, and story time is going to end soon.  She'd reading her last of 4 stories.  Family members are crowded around, taking pictures and smiling.
Two.  What's that feeling?  I can't quite tell.  Just focus on the story; she's almost done.  It's past lunch time, so I should eat soon.  She'll finish the last story soon, and we will be on our way.  I'll just get some food on the way home.
Three.  Everything fades out.  I'm transported from real life to another place; a dark space between consciousness and unconsciousness.  Who am I?  I've quite forgotten.  What day is it?  I don't remember.  Wasn't I just at a book reading?  Nah, that must have been a dream or something.  I'm not there, I'm somewhere else.
Those three seconds-- less than that, perhaps only three breaths-- were all it took.  I went from being completely fine to passing out cold.  According to my sister, who saw the whole thing, I fell face-first onto the floor "like a tree falling in the forest" and was out for a few seconds before regaining my consciousness.
When I did start to come back, it was all still dark.  I could hear distant voices; the were saying my name, but I didn't understand why.  I opened my eyes.  All I could see was dark shades of grey and black shapes.  Then, slowly, I made out two faces.  The next thing I knew, I was sitting up instead of laying down.  Things were still blurry and blotchy, and I had no idea what's going on, but I could remember who I am and what day it is.  I'm told that I fainted-- did I just mess up story time?  I feel horrible about that.  I still can't see right, and my mind is a mess.  All I want to do is go to sleep.
Eventually, they tell me what happened.  Out of nowhere, I suddenly fainted.  When I started coming to, my face was white and my lips were the same shade as the rest of my face.  Then my lips started to turn blue; my hands got really clammy and were freezing.  They put a blanket around me because apparently I was in shock.  I was responding to questions when they asked me directly, but it was delayed.  My ears were ringing and my hands were tingling.

I don't know who had a worse time of it-- me, having to deal with all of that; or my sister, who had to watch all of that.  I tried downplaying it for a while, but when a bad headache developed later that night my parents got worried.  The next morning they called the doctor's office and asked to schedule an appointment, but were instead told they must take me to the emergency room immediately.
Three hours and an EKG, CT scan, multiple blood tests, and chest x-ray later, I'm sent home from the E.R. with further instructions to see a cardiologist and my primary care doctor.  So, today we went to the doctor.  From the looks of everything, I am completely normal.  This coming from the girl who has anemia and a heart murmur, and most likely has hypoglycemia-- all of it checked out.  The anemia and heart murmur are gone.  No blood sugar issues.  Wait, what?
This was kind of scary for me, passing out and getting a concussion (oh yeah, that too).  But in the midst of it all, I find out some of my medical issues are just gone?  I've had them for so long, and it's always been the answer when something goes wrong.  I'm dizzy, feel light-headed, and/or can't see straight-- it's because I'm anemic.  But now, I'm told that it's gone.
I still have to see the cardiologist to be on the safe side, but it seems that my passing out was a result of nothing more than a momentary fluke in my body's system, and my doctor assured me that he's seen it often.  And while I received a pretty good concussion, I should be back to normal soon.  No internal bleeding, no worsening symptoms-- we're in the clear as far as that goes.  But, I don't know what to feel.  On the one hand, I'm so thankful that I'm healthy!  And it's such a blessing to hear that my anemia is gone now (also very unexpected).  But the fact that we don't really know why I passed out, or how to prevent it from happening again, is a little unsettling.

Still, I think it's awesome that this happened.  And I say that for several reasons...
One.  It allowed me to find out that I no longer have anemia-- something that I am definitely praising God for!  It also allows us to find out if anything else is wrong with me, and had this not happened, I wouldn't have had these tests done.
Two.  I learned that I have to take things as they come, and come to terms with the reality of situations sometimes.  I kept trying to downplay it, opting to not go to the hospital with the paramedics when they asked, and tried deny having a concussion.  I hate doctors and hospitals, and never want to have to be there.  But once I accepted how things were going and what I had to do, they became fixable and now I am on the mend.
Three.  Everything that happens to me passes through God's hands.  He wasn't sitting up in heaven when this happened, saying, "Oh my gosh, she passed out!  I didn't see that one coming.  Well, I guess I have to deal with that now."  Not at all!  If my life and all its events were written in a book, he'd turn to the page that is today and say, "Yep, that'll happen, and I've got a reason for it."  He knew exactly when, how, and where this would happen.  So what's the use of panicking?  Everything that happens to me in life goes through Him first.  Whether it's good or bad; whether hard or easy; whether enlightening or difficult to understand; He knew about it before anyone else, and He allowed it to happen for a good reason.

After fainting, on the way home-- see my scraped up chin?

This "fun" adventure over the last 48 hours has once again given me the opportunity to see God in a new way, and to learn something about Him and about myself.  Heck, I even learned something about medical stuff!  Did you know that 94 is a good number to have for blood sugar?  I don't know what it means, but I do know that.
And at the end of the day, I'm still breathing.  We'll see what tomorrow holds, but God kept me here for a purpose and that's something to marvel at.  In fact, everything about God is something to marvel at. That is incredibly amazing.

Before I wrap this up...
If you or anyone you know has young children who would like to have a princess visit them at a birthday party or other special event, go to the website: http://www.trulyenchantedentertainment.com/ or check out the facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/trulyenchantedentertainment
The ladies in waiting don't usually pass out, and the princesses are definitely worth it.  :)


Kay, now I'm done for the day.
Peace out!
~Laurel

"Tears of Joy"

I wrote this shortly after having surgery, back in January.  What supposedly does not happen to the majority of people while under general anesthesia happened to me-- it was very personal, very powerful.  And it was definitely a God thing!

Tears of Joy
A True Story by Laurel Burlew

    My hands were sweaty, my heart was racing.  I knew it wasn't life-threatening or anything, but surgery still freaked me out.  I had never been put under general anesthesia before, but I was assured that it would be easy.  More than that, it would be quick.  I would barely notice being asleep before waking up again.  Everyone told me it would feel like I closed my eyes for a few seconds, then I'd be awake.  No dreams or anything.  Literally every person I know who has been under that anesthesia told me the same thing.
    So I tried my best to relax, because I had been told what to expect.  I kept repeating verses in my head, like 1 Peter 5:7 and all of Psalm 121.  It helped with the nerves.  Nurses came in and out, getting me ready for surgery by giving me an IV and setting me up in one of those great hospital gowns.
    Mom and Dad were sitting right there, silently praying for me.  And not only them, but I could feel the honest prayers of many that day.  Many of my friends and family were praying-- I mean really praying-- for me.  I knew, in my head, that God's hand would be on the operation.  But, it still didn't quite settle my heart, because I was genuinely worried.  My anxiety is something I struggle with from time to time.  When strange situations come up in life, I tend to worry.
    The doctor came in to my little waiting room, marked which knee would be operated on, and it began to feel even more real.  The anesthesiologist came in shortly afterwards, to give me a nerve block.  Before the block, however, he gave me something so that I would feel drowsy and wouldn't remember the nerve block.  It worked; I don't remember any of it at all.  After that, I had surgery.  Obviously I don't remember any of it.  And it went well; took the doctor an hour and a half to re-align my patella, move part of my tibia, and insert two screws.
    They were wrong, though.  I didn't feel like I was just asleep for a second; I had a dream.  I was not expecting to, but it happened all the same.  The dream was so vivid, so alive when it was happening.  When I woke up, it began to fade away, as all dreams do.  But I still, and will always, remember the important bits.  I saw God.  Not like I see other people in dreams; I couldn't really "see" Him with my eyes.  He is too magnificent for that, I think.  But everything around Him was light, and He shone.  More than anything I've ever seen before.
    He talked to me.  He told me that He had me, that He has me, and that I don't need to worry.  At all, ever.  It was one of the times where I have felt God so much...it moved me.  I woke up in tears.  The nurses told me that it happens to people sometimes, that they wake up in tears after anesthesia.  When asked, I told them I was in pain; my knee hurt.  It really did.  But at that moment, I wasn't crying because of pain.  It wasn't anything like that.
    I was crying because my Lord an Savior spoke to me, in a personal and amazing way.  And it was the most beautiful thing; my heart was overwhelmed and overflowing.  I know that my Redeemer lives.  I knew, in that minute, that He will never leave or forsake me.  If I ever had doubts, they are wiped away by His loving hand. 

Even just re-reading what I wrote that day (I wrote this on Feb. 6th), I am overwhelmed yet again and reminded of how awesome and powerful God is.  I think it's amazing that such a big God, who created the universe and holds it all in one hand, can come down and so intimately impact one person's life.
It's times like this when I want to find a hill, climb it, and yell on the top of my lungs how great our God is.  I want everyone to know the power of His love; I want people to repent and come to Him, so that He can make them white as snow.  While I may not be able to climb a hill right now, I am definitely going to take some time to rejoice and read His word, to pray, and to be in fellowship with others today.
How about you?  How will you express your love and gratitude towards God?  In what ways has He impacted your life the most? 

~Laurel

Free writing.

Occasionally-- meaning at least once a week-- I like to sit at Starbucks for a few hours and just write.  I don't filter anything, I don't try to make it sound good or try to force a storyline onto the pages.  I sit down with my favorite notebook and write whatever comes to mind.  Usually I end up writing several short stories.  Here's one that I wrote the other day, while the song 'Africa' by Toto came on.  (Not that it's completely related, but kind of.)

Wanderlust
by Laurel Burlew
    Building up inside was the desire-- the fire-- the insurmountable need-- to leave.  To escape the world around and to instead discover a new one.  She looked through pages of books, covered every inch in maps.  Here?  There?  Each place had its own charm and appeal.  Where to start?  A smile crossed her lips as she pulled out a map of the world and fingered one specific spot.  'Yes, here.'  She said to herself.  'This is the place to which I am being called.'
    The pennies added up day by day, week by week.  Dollars turned into more dollars, and the hope she held inside begged to come out into the open.  Clamoring inside, it could not be sated by anything or replaced by any other hope or dream.  She was helplessly gone, unable to return to the world she knew before or the life she had in the past.  It consumed her, and she let it, because life without this passion felt dead and grey.
    Some laughed; others scoffed.  They all said it would not happen.  Life ensnared them all too quickly and they could not see past their next raise at work or payment on an apartment.  The world had long ago lost its charm for them, and they could not see the way she did.  Nor did they want to; they had been consumed for too long.  They spend their days wandering about in their cages, decorating and calling this or that 'lovely.'  It was all about money.
    But for her!  She saw beyond the confines of the mundane.  She was able to peer into something else, and it was there she found her life.  She made her home there and fell in love with the beauty of ordinary things.  And in time, she was able to spread her wings and soar.  Though they still laughed at the thought of her, they never knew she surmounted so much more than they ever could.  She left their life behind and sought a new one beyond the horizon.  There, she found more than words could ever describe.
~The End~

To finish this post up, here's a quote I like: "Spread love everywhere you go.  Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier." ~Mother Teresa.  I am a quote person, and I LOVE quotes.  So if you know of any great ones, please share them!
Until next time!
 ~Laurel

Mommy's Little Helper: A Poem

The first time I saw my brother, I couldn’t believe it had come true,

I could now call myself a sister from that first moment I heard him coo.

Mommy’s little helper was my new job from that day on

Mommy’s little helper, I would always be, until I’m gone.

Always changing diapers and taking care of the dog,

With my friends, learning to do the dishes and making sure my siblings won’t sob.

One more brother, one more sister, and the cycle starts over again,

Always playing, helping, waiting, babysitting till the end.

Mommy’s little helper, proud to do her deed,

Mommy’s little helper, trying hard to succeed.

Then the kids grew older, needing help in different ways,

A sister to confide in, a helper to get through the days.

“Hey pick up your jacket! You can’t just leave it on the floor!”

Over and over and over again, mommy’s big helper asks for more.

Mommy’s big time helper, she tries to teach them well,

To be a good example, and make sure they grow up swell.

Mommy’s big time helper, it’s hard to know which things to tell.

Should you scold them, should you love them, which jobs are for mommy and which are for her helper?

Should you play a game or hold them? How do you deal with their temper?

Cleaning up messes, one after the other.

Doing twice the amount of dishes. C’mon sister and brother!

Mommy’s angry helper. Don’t you see that I’m doing my best!

To encourage them, to give them the answers, to help them pass the test!

Mommy’s angry helper doesn’t want to help anymore,
If you fail to see that I'm trying, than what am I doing this for?

I’ll give it my best shot but not for you, or her, or me

I swear I clean up after myself and try to be a part of the team.

Sometimes life is just too hard and I just want it to slow down.

Frustration and pacin and so much aggravation--

I can’t take it when all you do is frown.

Mommy’s little helper isn’t so little nowadays,

Mommy’s helper is growing up now, so she has to help in different ways.

Mommy’s big girl helper, wants to be the best that she can be,

But as much as she wants to, she can’t be perfect at everything.

Mother’s be good to your daughters, and appreciate them as they help you

Because sometimes mommy’s little helper is going to need mommy’s help too.

Live, Learn, Love, Leave a Legacy,
                                        & Stay Creative,

                     Emma

I Need You

I Need You: A Poem

Like a scared tiger cub, I sit alone and ask the Lord,

“Why have you left me?”

I plead, and yet remain ignored.

I am afraid of jealousy, afraid of sickness, afraid of pain—

Afraid of this disease that began in my heart but now infects my brain.

I can’t stop crying, can’t stop lying to myself to get through the day,

I can’t stop thinking, won’t stop blinking, to see that what remains

Is still a mess of shattered broken pieces from my toes up through my skull,

What’s left of me is a ruined Van Gogh painting that feels tattered, torn, and dull.

I can’t stop hurting, won’t stop burning, and inside, my head! It spins!

My GOD, LISTEN TO ME, inside my soul is singing hymns,

But I need help! Something greater! Something far greater than me…

I need more than a silly magician or a fancy evil queen.

I need you, oh Creator,

Master Maker,

Father Divine,

I need you, oh prison breaker,

Dream Chaser,

Father mine.

You must HELP me, come and save me.

Oh Lord, make my life complete,

Fill me with your glory,

Bring me to the Holy

Land, and set me on my feet.

I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I won’t do this on my own,

Walk with me on Earth, be my friend, be my father, be my home.

I Need You.

Live, Learn, Love, Leave a Legacy,

             & Stay Creative,

           Emma

Hard.Sometimes.Is.Life.

Is Life Sometimes Hard?: A Poem

"Life is hard sometimes."
I've said it once, but I will say it no more--
Because if HE is life, could it be true?
Could our creator and maker really be "hard," sometimes too?

I guess it makes sense, now that you mention it.
They never said this relationship would be easy.
When your one true Love literally holds the world in His hands, how could it be?

Did you truly think you'd just be along for the ride?
All smooth sailing ahead, with no bumps on the side?

While wonderous and joy-filled is the One True Mighty King,
These tossing waves are simply one important piece of your relationship in the making.

While your imperfections melt away,
He sees you in His gaze.
He stands in awe as he steps back to look at His wonderful masterpiece-- amazed.

So in the end, I guess it's true-- Life is beautiful, wonderful, amazing, and real,
The very essence of Life vibrates our chords of joy and allows us to feel

But Life IS hard, Life is scary, and Life can be an adventure outside an expectation.
Life shapes us and molds us and makes us and breaks us in more ways than we can ever take in.



So no matter how you rearrange the words, the truth still remains, and can cause us to think twice--

Life indeed, is hard sometimes, but sometimes, hard is Life.


Live, Learn, Love, Leave a Legacy,

             & Stay Creative,

           Emma

Help!

Help!

Lord... I know what you want from me, but I don't want to do it... How can I find motivation? I can't do it... How can I?

^This has been my problem lately. There are a few things that I know God has been wanting me to do lately but I can't do them for the life of me! I guess that's just it, I can't do it... but He can. Even then though, how do you let Him work through you? I guess, you just have to keep surrendering to Him on a daily basis...

2 things God has been wanting from me:

1. To work hard in order to raise money to go to Germany
2. To be healthy

Let's address issue #1; you see, I know for a fact, with everything inside of me that God has been asking me to do some hard work in order to raise money for the trip that I'm planning on taking to Germany. I have been called to teach English in Germany this summer and I can't wait to do just that, but I'm not a huge fan of this whole "work hard" thing (that's the ultimate picture of selfish human nature for ya). Now, I don't usually admit this fact consciously, but it's true nonetheless! I would absolutely love it if money would just fall from the sky to fund me for this trip, but I know that's not it. The funniest thing, is that a lot of the things that would be considered 'hard work' for this trip, aren't even actually that hard! I just hate asking people for money so even selling artwork or asking people for opportunities for me to raise money is really outside of my comfort zone and 'hard' for me right now.

Now issue #2; health! I know that The Lord wants me to be exercising daily and making more healthy decisions when it comes to my eating habits, and not just for a little while, but in my daily life-- forever.

Every day, I study the Bible with my family and we memorize some Bible verses together-- the series of verses we've been memorizing lately deal with parenting. One of the biggest things I've learned from these verses is that, even now, I am preparing myself for parenthood. All the decisions I make at this stage in my life will not only affect me, but my children, and their children after me. I know it starts with the little things and I believe that these two things He is asking of me are two "little" things that are going to affect me and other people in BIG ways...

And yet, I am continuously failing! I feel like no matter how many motivating videos I watch, no matter how many words of wisdom are spoken to me, or how many people I have to hold me accountable, I just can't keep up with the various goals I've made in these two areas of my life. I've been reading the word and praying about this, and yet I still have no idea how to overcome these areas of sin and struggle in my life. (Not yet, anyway).

So that's all for now... not a resolution of any type but perhaps it's helpful to publicly admit a few of the random problems I've been having?

My challenges for this week:

Life: Compliment one person on their character each day via electronic message, letter, or in person

Creativity: Finish a tiger picture I've been drawing and/or another big art project I've been working on for too long! (Can't talk about it online yet, but I'll post pictures once I finish it)

Project: Walk or run for just 10 minutes everyday! That should get me out...


Live, Learn, Love, Leave a Legacy,

             & Stay Creative,

           Emma

I will lift my eyes

"GOD, my GOD, I cry out...Your beloved needs You now.  GOD, my GOD, be near, calm my fear and take my doubt.  Your kindness is what pulls me up and your love is all that draws me in... I will lift my eyes to the Maker of the mountains I can't climb, I will lift my eyes to the Calmer of the oceans raging wild, I will lift my eyes to the Healer of the hurt I hold inside.  I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes, to You." ~I Will Lift My Eyes, Bebo Norman

Such a beautiful song!  It's an amazing reminder to me of God's tender side, but also His power and might.  Isn't that something we all need to be reminded of?!  The challenges I've been giving myself this week all boil down to this-- I want to lift my eyes to none other than the Author and Finisher of my faith.  I only want to look up to Jesus Christ, my Lord.  The things I want to challenge myself to do are things that I think at times, This is impossible.  They're very tough for me.  But I can do anything through Christ, who gives me the strength needed to get through every battle.

My life challenge this past week has been to pray constantly for people.  Not just people I know or like, not just those who ask for prayer.  I want to be that prayer warrior who people can count on; I want to be that person whose first response to any situation is always going to God in prayer.  And I don't want to do this out of mindless obedience-- I honestly love God and want to talk to Him all the time!  My prayer life has almost always been strong, but I want it to get even stronger.
My creativity challenge was to work on finishing my book, and although I haven't finished it yet, I am closer than I was at the beginning of the week.  I'm about 4,500 words away from my goal, which is fantastic.  I have never, ever been this close to finishing a full-length novel.   That in itself is a win for me!
My project challenge for the previous week was to do physical therapy every day (note: I had this challenge before).  I am still struggling to get done each day the things that are important, but I did better last week than the week before and my goal is to do better this week than last week.

After a very emotional weekend, with many ups and downs, I am ready to start the new week and go forward. 
~Laurel