Things girls should NOT do, unless you like the guy...

Finding the line between being nice and appearing flirtatious is a very real struggle, and as girls, we probably won't ever get it completely right (unless one of our male friends would be so kind as to give us some more specific tips?). However, there are a few things we have learned about male-female friendships, that have taught us what NOT to do, if you don't like a guy, and don't want him to think that you do. Don't...

1. Give him gifts.
Just don't do it. You're thinking, "Oh, this reminds me of my friend (insert name here) and it's (insert holiday, birthday, or big accomplishment here), I should get this for him." But often times, he's thinking, "Dude, she went out of her way to get this for me and spent her money on this for me, obviously she likes me." Every time I've given a guy an (unsolicited) gift, he's ended up assuming that I have a thing for him, when the reality is, I was just trying to be nice. I've seen other girls give their guy-friends gifts and it didn't seem like a big deal to me but the last few times I gave a guy something, they took it wrong, so I'd say that as a general rule, just don't give him stuff. Unless of course, you're going to a party or event where gifts are socially implied (i.e. birthday party, graduation party, etc.).

2. Share all your internal struggles and deep thoughts.
Ladies, let's be honest.  We love to talk!  And we love to share our lives with others; it's how we work.  But when we open up to the point of telling guys all about the deeper parts of ourselves, it's sending them the wrong message. For us, the ability to share deep feelings and thoughts is somewhat a right of passage in friendship. When we feel comfortable enough to open up with someone, we take that as a sign of true friendship, but for guys, this can be a true sign that you are interested in more than friendship. Now, we're not saying this means you have to be on verbal lock-down, limiting yourself to conversation about the weather, we're just saying, keep tabs on what and how much information you disclose.

3. Text him all the time.
Again, we girls like to talk a lot.  And for a lot of women, we'll talk to anyone who wants to talk and can go on for hours, no problem!  But since guys aren't generally seen as big texters or even just talkers as we are, it's a good idea to limit the amount of texting you do.  If a guy is interested, often times he'll take you texting him as a sign.  He may think, "Wow!  She keeps talking to me, which must mean she's totally interested."  So to avoid this awkwardness, just don't do it too often!

4. Hang out one-on-one.
Most girls tend to disagree with this.  They think, "I'm super good friends with this guy, and it's totally platonic.  We're just friends, there's no issue of him thinking I like him!"  Uh huh, and that's part of the problem.  Trust us when we tell you this; it's happened to a lot of us girls!  If you want to keep your friendship with a guy, hanging out one-on-one is not a smart idea.  Going out somewhere with a guy, just the two of you, can come across as a precursor for dating.  Now, in certain situations, hanging out with your guy friend when it's just the two of you can be okay, I'll admit that.  But by and large, this sends a signal to a guy.  A very strong signal.  If you don't want him to pick up that signal, don't do it!  If you're going to go somewhere and hang out with your guy friend one-on-one, you should be open to the possibility of having the "more than friends" talk sometime in the future.  Because it probably will.

So there you have it!  Our opinions on what girls should avoid doing, unless they are interested in a guy.  Girls: what do you think of these?  Guys: anything else we need to be aware of?  What are some of your experiences?

My 2015 Bucket List

I've never been much of a "bucket list" person, or the type of person who makes New Year resolutions...but this year, I'm giving it a try.  In 2015, I want to take more chances, try new things, and experience life in new ways.  (Don't we all?)  So here are my top 10 goals for the year of 2015:

1. Run a 10k. 
In 2014, I ran my first 5k.  I plan to do a 10k in May!  Originally, I wanted to try a 1/2 marathon, but some issues have blockaded my ability to prepare for something that large.
2. Climb the incline.  
Between unknown knee pains, knee surgery, and other medical issues in the last few years, I've somehow never gotten around to this one.
3. Finish writing another book. 
After writing it for 4 years, I finished my first novella in 2014 with over 65,000 words!  This year, I plan to finish the one I'm currently working on.  Shouldn't be too hard.
4. Compete in NaNoWriMo again.
For anyone who likes writing, this is such a fun and worthwhile challenge!  I didn't think I could do it because I write incredibly slowly.  But, amazingly, I finished it!  And it feels so great.
5. Make a documentary.
I am saving up to substantially upgrade my camera, and the one I'm buying has great film capabilities.  I have several ideas that have always sounded like fun, and why not give 'em a try!
6. Record a set of songs.
As a musician, I have often played around with random melodies, making up my own songs and such.  Why not record a couple of them for fun, to have for future years?  Another fun thing to try out!
7. Read 50 books.
Eventually I want to be reading more than this, but I think 50 books in 52 weeks sounds daunting enough for me to give it a try.
8. Go camping.
This may not sound like a bucket list item, but I haven't been camping since I was a kid and I have been wanting to do it again for a long time!
9. Finish my "Hipster Princes" photo project.
For those of you who know what this is, you'll know that I have been working on it since August and only have two of the princes done!  For those of you who don't know what it is...well, you can ask me and I'll gladly divulge all the details.
10. Read through the Old Testament for the purpose of finding Christophanies.
This is something my pastor suggested to the congregation recently, and I love the idea.  Jesus Christ walked on the pages of the Old Testament, whether literally or in foreshadowing, and reading through the O.T. for that purpose sounds so great!

Anything exciting on your bucket list for 2015?

5 reasons you should read literature more often

I love and appreciate books of all (or, most) forms.  When I'm feeling like an easy, fun read, I'll pick up a book like "The Giver."  When I feel like something deep, I'll turn to old classics like "Great Expectations."  And, when I and struggling with something in my life, I'll often pick up a book like "Mere Christianity."  While many books are enjoyable, they aren't all the same.  Here are some reasons why literature, specifically, is a good idea to get in the habit of reading often.

1. It will expand your horizons.
Reading all sorts of books is a good thing.  But reading literature, more specifically, is important.  What sets literature apart from the vast majority of books out there, is that literature refers to a book that meets higher standards.  Literature can be thought of as a superior option to other types of reading materials.  Literary works are thought-provoking and stimulating, and often turn into classics (like works by Shakespeare, Austen, Homer, and so on).  These types of books cover a variety of life issues, theoretical ideas, and quite often pose intriguing questions that the reader is encouraged to answer for himself/herself.  So not only do you read a good book, you also come away with something more than you had when you started reading.

2. You will know more about the world.
Literally.  Literature comes from all over the place.  Not all literature is written in the US, or in England, or wherever you think it comes from.  People of all walks of life, both men and women, young and old, have contributed to the hefty pool of literature we have to choose from.  And we also have literature from quite some time ago.  When reading books written by a variety of people for a variety of people, you may just find that your eyes are opened to new things.  You can learn what a culture is/was like by reading literature that comes from/is based on that particular culture.

3. People associate reading with intelligence.
This is not to say that if you do not read, you are not intelligent...and it's also not saying that you are intelligent, simply because you read.  But it is true that many people associate a person's level of intelligence with reading.  For example, if you are talking to two complete strangers and one mentions he just read War and Peace, and the other states he hasn't read a book in 5 years, which one would you be more likely to think is intelligent?  Come on.  It's true.  And it is also true that the more you read, the more you learn.  So if you're reading good quality books, you will probably learn good quality things.  Win/win.

4. Your creativity will skyrocket.
Okay, so this hasn't been scientifically proven or anything, but in my experience, it's true.  The more often I read, the more ideas I have for my own writing or for an art project or for a new song.  When I read an excellent book, it makes me want to go do something productive (and creative) that matches that book's level of beauty.  After reading about a beautiful scene of a lake sitting at the edge of a forest, I want to go out and find someplace like that and photograph it.  Basically, reading and creativity are very closely tied!  In my opinion.

5. There are books out there for everyone.
No, "Fifty Shades of Grey" does not count as literature.  And reading a graphic novel doesn't exactly count, either.  But no matter what you're into, whether you're a math-lover or you can't get enough history in your life; whether you are into music or want to be an engineer, there is literature out there for you.  Reading a good book, one that has substance and meaning behind it, can inspire us to do better things in the area we love.  Literature helps us learn more about a subject we love, discover new things about ourselves, and feel like we belong.

Some of my top recommended pieces of literature are: "Macbeth" by Shakespeare, "Fahrenheit 451" by Ray Bradbury, "Emma" by Jane Austen, and basically anything by C.S. Lewis.

What are yours?